Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize