It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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