Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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