guys are not supposed to queef...right?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
