and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
