why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
