no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
