Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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