He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
