my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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