those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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