Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
high people should be assigned attendants
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
