BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
