I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
the raccoons are back...
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