i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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