If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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