your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize