sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
