i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
