OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
