Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
