in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize