i don't like sucking hair
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
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