Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
