thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
