I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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