i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
