After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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