i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
