Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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