I'm drive I can fine osifer
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize