Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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