In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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