Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
