I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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