i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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