I can tuck mytits in my pants
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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