oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my parents said I crawled through the house
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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