you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
