are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
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