in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Randomize
