some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Just puked most of my soul out..
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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