I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
