I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
