remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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