There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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