White coat. Heels.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
