I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
