3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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