I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize