What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
