We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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