I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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