Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
