So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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