Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Is Oprah even human
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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