Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
This is my gift to your gina
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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