He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
