you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
