Soap is not a condiment
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Pants are for mortals
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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