you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
