I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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