she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
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I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
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After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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