how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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