I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
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