Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
