Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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