I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You ate ashes out of my bong
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
