I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
