or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
