Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.

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(512): View more from Texas

Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.

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(347): View more from New York

today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud

(917): View more from New York City

it's sad that this is a milestone

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi

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(716): View more from New York

He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex

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(973): View more from New Jersey

casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think

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(860): View more from Connecticut

That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument

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(443): View more from Maryland

You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.

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