I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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