People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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