so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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