What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
