I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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